San Francisco- Miss Trannyshack Pageant 11/18/06
You stop at the laundromat to get your tickets.
Les is in there by herself, doing laundry.
You're all
We'll have to share a cocktail later
She's all
"Defnitely Honey!"
At home you steam some chicken dumplings and eat some chips.
The dogs lie on you while you watch CSI: Miami.
Agent is in the shower, so you walk the dogs.
You take a swig of Jameson. Pony gets home and you are all
We have to go soon
He's quiet. More than usual so. You change into:
Black overall shorts, tight and stretchy
Two tank tops, one white, one "flesh tone"
Fancy black shoes
Brown knee high vintage socks
You straighten your hair, again
You make it very very smooth and straight
You spray it solid
Pony wears a red burgundy tank wblack slacks a slender vest a black merino wool cardigan and his voluminous gray scarf.
Pony smokes pot,
you curl your lashes apply mascara and eye gloss.
You leave at 8pm-ish.
Walking to the BART you talk so fast, You talk about the lack of full length mirrors in the house, you talk about money for the night ahead. You are a million miles a minute, and Pony is still stoned.
On the BART platform you talk about Newyork, and making theater. The good years of life, or whatever.
The BART comes quick. On the way out at Civic Center station you pass a guy playing the violin, "experimentally" or poorly.
Pony is all
"He is here all the time. He didn't always have a violin, then one day he showed up with one"
Out on the street it's colder than in the Mish.
You apologize to Pony for being so hyper, so hyped up, as you walk around CivicCenter proper you share stories about Pride, which turns into stories about exboyfriends. You stop for gum. Bubblicious original.
As you get closer to the venue the sidewalk slowly fills with freaks, drag queen, night clubbers, and the common masses.
Onc eyou are in Pony scouts out the bar. The line is so so long.
You scan the room and say
You know I was worried that I'd feel ugly around here, with this crowd. But I think It's going to be ok.
You tell Pony that the two of you look like two outfits from the same line.
Slender sillouhettes,fancy shoes,boyish touches,formal touches.
You chew your gum and blow big big bubbles, whishing Struthers was around.
At the front of the line you both order
WHISKEY AND COKE
2 each. That is 16$ for two drinks. Each.
You down one. They are strong but small.
You go to the main room and check it out, try to check jackets, for a too large fee. Finish the drinks and go outside for cigarettes and more money. Outside you run into The Seventh Heart crew, Les, Viv, and Poke. Les and Poke both flag Horseface, you too. You'll meet them inside, they're on THE LIST.
Pony and you stake it out by some kids dancing liek crazy. There's this black girl with silver lycra pants and a vintagey 80's workout suit top, and her partner in crime a dude with a blond weft glued down the middle of his head, they are all old school Voguing-Paris-Is-Burning-Work-The-Floor-Girl. You drop your outerwear on the floor and dance. The room is so big, it's Vast. There's a projection on the screen on the stage, and a balcony around the top of the whole room.
Les, Viv, and Poke show up. You lament the long bar lines and drool at the House of Ninja kids. Pony and you decide to cut the bar line. Someone on line recognizes Pony from work. The guy is all
"You look so different without your suit"
Back with The Seventh Heart-ers drinks in hand the show starts.
There's an opening number. Heklina is working an amazing pink sequin gown with some hip augmentation harkening to Versace and McQueen's recent sillouhettes.
Then they introduce the judges, then guest stars, including Parker Posey. You want to dance. You like Parker Posey. You like drag, but you want to dance.
The show starts, the contestants are introduced. You move up. You cut in front of the crowd all wearing themed costumes and hoop skirts.
It's the Bathing Suit competition, then the performances.
Someone is passed out on the edge of the stage and Heklina has to beg for someone to drag him out of there. A stage hand, or someone playing a stagehand comes out to mop wearing beautiful high pants, which are corseted above the waist.
The performances are good, but nothing makes you want to die, you go to the bathroom twice, then you and Pony walk out so he can smoke. Some girl has collapsed near the entrance, and an ambulance arrives to pull her out.
When you go back in you go for drinks with Pony, then try to sneak backstage but are quickly expelled.
You watch Jupitor dance naked. She's a big black quen with body paints and a troupe of girls with big hair and bellies.
They annonce the winner, Raya Light, you left when her performance started, you were too drunk for the extra long Kate Bush intro song and dramatics.
You run into Toph and his boyfriend. Maybe it's the drunk but he seems out of it, or not as excited to see you as you are to see him. He gets you backstage where you run into Mate. He takes your picture. It's bad. He takes it again, again bad. Everyone keeps pushing on a door you're leaning on, trying to get out to smoke but it's locked.
You say
IT'S LOCKED
like a billion times, but no one believes you.
Pony finds the guy who made the stagehand's pants.
You leave with Pony and Mate. Everyone is going to Playboy. You threaten to walk home but they get you in a cab. At the Stud you get stuck on the phone, pacing up and down the alley, checking out your face and hair in car window reflections, you watch people arrive and leave. Mate appears and takes your pic again. He shows you and it's ok.
Pony is ready to go. You haven't even gone in.
It's got to be around 2am. Mate is going in a different cab.
At home Boyf is awake, after a long work day.
You put on sweats and pass out.
Les is in there by herself, doing laundry.
You're all
We'll have to share a cocktail later
She's all
"Defnitely Honey!"
At home you steam some chicken dumplings and eat some chips.
The dogs lie on you while you watch CSI: Miami.
Agent is in the shower, so you walk the dogs.
You take a swig of Jameson. Pony gets home and you are all
We have to go soon
He's quiet. More than usual so. You change into:
Black overall shorts, tight and stretchy
Two tank tops, one white, one "flesh tone"
Fancy black shoes
Brown knee high vintage socks
You straighten your hair, again
You make it very very smooth and straight
You spray it solid
Pony wears a red burgundy tank wblack slacks a slender vest a black merino wool cardigan and his voluminous gray scarf.
Pony smokes pot,
you curl your lashes apply mascara and eye gloss.
You leave at 8pm-ish.
Walking to the BART you talk so fast, You talk about the lack of full length mirrors in the house, you talk about money for the night ahead. You are a million miles a minute, and Pony is still stoned.
On the BART platform you talk about Newyork, and making theater. The good years of life, or whatever.
The BART comes quick. On the way out at Civic Center station you pass a guy playing the violin, "experimentally" or poorly.
Pony is all
"He is here all the time. He didn't always have a violin, then one day he showed up with one"
Out on the street it's colder than in the Mish.
You apologize to Pony for being so hyper, so hyped up, as you walk around CivicCenter proper you share stories about Pride, which turns into stories about exboyfriends. You stop for gum. Bubblicious original.
As you get closer to the venue the sidewalk slowly fills with freaks, drag queen, night clubbers, and the common masses.
Onc eyou are in Pony scouts out the bar. The line is so so long.
You scan the room and say
You know I was worried that I'd feel ugly around here, with this crowd. But I think It's going to be ok.
You tell Pony that the two of you look like two outfits from the same line.
Slender sillouhettes,fancy shoes,boyish touches,formal touches.
You chew your gum and blow big big bubbles, whishing Struthers was around.
At the front of the line you both order
WHISKEY AND COKE
2 each. That is 16$ for two drinks. Each.
You down one. They are strong but small.
You go to the main room and check it out, try to check jackets, for a too large fee. Finish the drinks and go outside for cigarettes and more money. Outside you run into The Seventh Heart crew, Les, Viv, and Poke. Les and Poke both flag Horseface, you too. You'll meet them inside, they're on THE LIST.
Pony and you stake it out by some kids dancing liek crazy. There's this black girl with silver lycra pants and a vintagey 80's workout suit top, and her partner in crime a dude with a blond weft glued down the middle of his head, they are all old school Voguing-Paris-Is-Burning-Work-The-Floor-Girl. You drop your outerwear on the floor and dance. The room is so big, it's Vast. There's a projection on the screen on the stage, and a balcony around the top of the whole room.
Les, Viv, and Poke show up. You lament the long bar lines and drool at the House of Ninja kids. Pony and you decide to cut the bar line. Someone on line recognizes Pony from work. The guy is all
"You look so different without your suit"
Back with The Seventh Heart-ers drinks in hand the show starts.
There's an opening number. Heklina is working an amazing pink sequin gown with some hip augmentation harkening to Versace and McQueen's recent sillouhettes.
Then they introduce the judges, then guest stars, including Parker Posey. You want to dance. You like Parker Posey. You like drag, but you want to dance.
The show starts, the contestants are introduced. You move up. You cut in front of the crowd all wearing themed costumes and hoop skirts.
It's the Bathing Suit competition, then the performances.
Someone is passed out on the edge of the stage and Heklina has to beg for someone to drag him out of there. A stage hand, or someone playing a stagehand comes out to mop wearing beautiful high pants, which are corseted above the waist.
The performances are good, but nothing makes you want to die, you go to the bathroom twice, then you and Pony walk out so he can smoke. Some girl has collapsed near the entrance, and an ambulance arrives to pull her out.
When you go back in you go for drinks with Pony, then try to sneak backstage but are quickly expelled.
You watch Jupitor dance naked. She's a big black quen with body paints and a troupe of girls with big hair and bellies.
They annonce the winner, Raya Light, you left when her performance started, you were too drunk for the extra long Kate Bush intro song and dramatics.
You run into Toph and his boyfriend. Maybe it's the drunk but he seems out of it, or not as excited to see you as you are to see him. He gets you backstage where you run into Mate. He takes your picture. It's bad. He takes it again, again bad. Everyone keeps pushing on a door you're leaning on, trying to get out to smoke but it's locked.
You say
IT'S LOCKED
like a billion times, but no one believes you.
Pony finds the guy who made the stagehand's pants.
You leave with Pony and Mate. Everyone is going to Playboy. You threaten to walk home but they get you in a cab. At the Stud you get stuck on the phone, pacing up and down the alley, checking out your face and hair in car window reflections, you watch people arrive and leave. Mate appears and takes your pic again. He shows you and it's ok.
Pony is ready to go. You haven't even gone in.
It's got to be around 2am. Mate is going in a different cab.
At home Boyf is awake, after a long work day.
You put on sweats and pass out.
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