Mess-anine 10/22/06
It's the hairshow for the salon. I just stuffed a puppy sized burrito into my body, making picking out an outfit a little uncomfortable.
I choose:
TIGHT grey jeans
White racer back tank
Long black sleeveless cardigan with a vintage shield brooch
brown vintage boots
Totally witchy. Totally Halloweentown.
I pull on the jeans and can barely button them. Total muffin top. The tank is almost too small. I sew a button back on the cardigan.
Blow Dry.
Flat Iron.
Wax. Shine Spray.
I scoot to Rchrd Oh's to drop off some bandanas for www.this.bigstereo.net. He's cooking. Claims that his house is all the Ring today. His tub started seeping a black substance up the drain and he heard a strange sound. I tell him about Marie Antoinette, the movie and the Queen.
I scoot to Mezzanine, there's no parking so I have to ride up on the sidewalk.
There's two lines outside and a red carpet. Literally.
Meager steps up, she's looking beautiful in a black party dress with a wide purple belt. She ushers me past the line.
Free coat check.
Everyone is all cheek kisses and half hugs.
I go backstage. Hair central. Hot models with hot hair, my coworkers teasing furiously: back comb, spray, smooth over. Jojo wears all red, a skirt, a top and cardigan, all tight, with her hair picked out huge.
Jojo
"Hey honey..."
Cheek kiss, half hug.
I see Sailor, tell her her brooch will be here soon, I left it home, but Pony is headed over. She's in an amazing all denim, military inspired vintage dress, skin tight, what a waist.
Back through the velvet ropes and there's Debbie and Hera. Cheek kiss, half hug. I'm too awkward to stand. My weeklong illness has robbed me of partyability. I hoof it to the bar. There are five bars. Now I have to pick a bar.
Panic.
The closest one.
Jameson rocks.
I don't have to drive till later.
The bartender looks familiar.
Debbie tells me about the show, all the music they are using, what the models are like. Her job today was sitting with the models' bags for five hours.
"At least I'm not clean up crew," she says/screams.
I'm going horse already from screaming over the subpar music.
The dj, a 30-ish woman, lipsinchs to the song, her nostril ring glinting. She bops her head from side to side.
It makes me lonely.
I'm off to call Pony, tell him how to get in without a hassle. I run into Girly. He's all, "Honey, how are you?Honey, would you like some of my diet coke? Honey, hoow about some drink tickets"
I like Girly out of work, he's more relaxed, less bossy. Less of a boss, more of a gay, which seems impossible, but he does it.
Three drink tickets.
I flirt with the girls at the door. They give me more tickets.
Pony shows up. Brooch in hand.
I hurry backstage and hook Sailor up.
It's more crowded. A photographer has a model up against a red wall. She is working that wall, that hair, that open shirt. Is that a boy? No she's a girl. I wish she was a boy for just a second. But she's a better girl. The photographer won't stop taking pictures of her. There's a line of people trying to get out. I push through.
I'm a receptionist and I deserve RESPECT!
To the bar with a drink ticket, one for me, one for Pony. Big tip to the familiar tender.
I stake out a spot near the runway with Pony, Jojo joins us.
The salon owners get up there with a Line rep. The guy owner says some stuff than the lady owner. I'm all
I LOVE HAIR. LET'S SEE SOME HAIR!!
Pony cracks up, Jojo too. People turn and give me a dirty look.
I ignore them, they are ugly and old.
The show starts. It's hot. Good hair.
Good models. Most of the guy models are stiff. They walk like they just shit their pants or they don't want to look gay, so they look bored, and stupid. Mentally stupid.
Whenever a black model comes out the crowd goes crazy. They go crazy for wild updos too. But with every single black model it's madness.
Pony drops his drink. All over my feet. Jojo's too. She slides him a dirty look.
He's all
"oops..." with a cute shrug.
After the show it's more drink ticket drinks, the bartender is all
"You look familiar"
You do too!! Where do you live?
"I just moved out of the mission"
I live there!
"I used to live at 16th and Valencia"
Oh, I live far from there, oh well. It's a mystery
I tip a little smaller because i have a five and a single.
Girly shows up with four drink tickets and four dollars.
"Honey, do you want more tickets?"
OK
"Just get two vodka tonics for the door girls then keep the other two."
I bring the door their drinks, someone else shows up with two vodka tonics at the same time. They'll have to double fist it.
We head to the restroom. I break the code and start a convo in the bathroom with Pony. It's dead silent otherwise. Come on we are all faggots, let's chat it up. Even Pony is breif with his words.
He jets to Double Dutch Disco. Boyf calls, he's out of band practice early. I wish I didn't have the drink because I'd leave now to see him. I try to get him to go to Double Dutch Disco so we can meet up. But he's in for the night.
I hit the dancefloor with Gaga and Jewelry. It's all 80's then it turns into 70's. I dare Gaga to ask the lipsynch dj for some Missy Elliot or something
But none of that remix crap.
A few songs later and Missy's on.
Jewelry dances her ass off. Jayla comes over and dances real low to the ground. He looks like a grown up kid. Big smile, glasses crooked, oversized striped shirt. I wish I could have fun like that.
I dance like my mother.
Like my mother dancing too Missy Elliot.
So does Gaga.
There's a crowd of assistants dancing nearby.
The party is happening. For a song. I dare Manny to get up on the runway.
He dissappears then comes through the curtains all Ethel Merman, Girly follows, and some girls. Girly dances like THAT guy. It's awesome.
Manny jumps down. He's sweating.
We go outside and Eve and Surly say I'm one of their favorites. I'm all
Come on guys, stop it.
I want them to get specific. Why am I one of your favorites? Who else is a favorite? I want context. They've moved on.
No-No is here. She's the HBIC. She's an owner. I tell her I love her. She laughs. I know I look drunk so I grab her hand and look her in the eye
No really. I love you. You're be best.
She believes me.
Her brother hits on Sailor, I think.
I meet Donatella, she is a major colorist with the Salon. I chat her up about nothing for a minute.
I tell Manny that the guy behind him is the only goodlooking boy model. He's all
"Him?!"
Did I stutter
"Him?! I know that guy"
My face gets hot. Totally embars then. Manny sounds dissappointed. But the guy IS goodlooking...ish.
All the smoke is getting to me so I head inside. No one.
NO ONE AT ALL is dancing.
It's tumbleweed empty. Sailor walks by. I chuck my bag in the middle of the floor.
Manny walks up with MaleModel.
Totally Embars. My face gets red. I can feel it. But it's club lighting, no one can see.
I cut at Manny with my eyes. He walks away.
MaleModel introduces himself. We half dance, and talk about the show. I scamper to the restroom. Manny's walking out the front door, I grab his wrist
That was NOT cool
He's all doe eyes and
"What?"
You dragged that guy over to me...
"I did not."
I believe him even though he is lying, we walk to his car, he drives me back to the club I grab my bag. Everyone is splitting up. Some art show, some after party at Surly's. I want to see his new apartment. I want to do something embarrassing and drunkworthy with my coworkers. It's midnight. I think.
I get on the scooter.
Home happens fast.
I shouldn't drive in this state. But I don't realize that till I'm parked on the pavement outside the house.
I choose:
TIGHT grey jeans
White racer back tank
Long black sleeveless cardigan with a vintage shield brooch
brown vintage boots
Totally witchy. Totally Halloweentown.
I pull on the jeans and can barely button them. Total muffin top. The tank is almost too small. I sew a button back on the cardigan.
Blow Dry.
Flat Iron.
Wax. Shine Spray.
I scoot to Rchrd Oh's to drop off some bandanas for www.this.bigstereo.net. He's cooking. Claims that his house is all the Ring today. His tub started seeping a black substance up the drain and he heard a strange sound. I tell him about Marie Antoinette, the movie and the Queen.
I scoot to Mezzanine, there's no parking so I have to ride up on the sidewalk.
There's two lines outside and a red carpet. Literally.
Meager steps up, she's looking beautiful in a black party dress with a wide purple belt. She ushers me past the line.
Free coat check.
Everyone is all cheek kisses and half hugs.
I go backstage. Hair central. Hot models with hot hair, my coworkers teasing furiously: back comb, spray, smooth over. Jojo wears all red, a skirt, a top and cardigan, all tight, with her hair picked out huge.
Jojo
"Hey honey..."
Cheek kiss, half hug.
I see Sailor, tell her her brooch will be here soon, I left it home, but Pony is headed over. She's in an amazing all denim, military inspired vintage dress, skin tight, what a waist.
Back through the velvet ropes and there's Debbie and Hera. Cheek kiss, half hug. I'm too awkward to stand. My weeklong illness has robbed me of partyability. I hoof it to the bar. There are five bars. Now I have to pick a bar.
Panic.
The closest one.
Jameson rocks.
I don't have to drive till later.
The bartender looks familiar.
Debbie tells me about the show, all the music they are using, what the models are like. Her job today was sitting with the models' bags for five hours.
"At least I'm not clean up crew," she says/screams.
I'm going horse already from screaming over the subpar music.
The dj, a 30-ish woman, lipsinchs to the song, her nostril ring glinting. She bops her head from side to side.
It makes me lonely.
I'm off to call Pony, tell him how to get in without a hassle. I run into Girly. He's all, "Honey, how are you?
I like Girly out of work, he's more relaxed, less bossy. Less of a boss, more of a gay, which seems impossible, but he does it.
Three drink tickets.
I flirt with the girls at the door. They give me more tickets.
Pony shows up. Brooch in hand.
I hurry backstage and hook Sailor up.
It's more crowded. A photographer has a model up against a red wall. She is working that wall, that hair, that open shirt. Is that a boy? No she's a girl. I wish she was a boy for just a second. But she's a better girl. The photographer won't stop taking pictures of her. There's a line of people trying to get out. I push through.
I'm a receptionist and I deserve RESPECT!
To the bar with a drink ticket, one for me, one for Pony. Big tip to the familiar tender.
I stake out a spot near the runway with Pony, Jojo joins us.
The salon owners get up there with a Line rep. The guy owner says some stuff than the lady owner. I'm all
I LOVE HAIR. LET'S SEE SOME HAIR!!
Pony cracks up, Jojo too. People turn and give me a dirty look.
I ignore them, they are ugly and old.
The show starts. It's hot. Good hair.
Good models. Most of the guy models are stiff. They walk like they just shit their pants or they don't want to look gay, so they look bored, and stupid. Mentally stupid.
Whenever a black model comes out the crowd goes crazy. They go crazy for wild updos too. But with every single black model it's madness.
Pony drops his drink. All over my feet. Jojo's too. She slides him a dirty look.
He's all
"oops..." with a cute shrug.
After the show it's more drink ticket drinks, the bartender is all
"You look familiar"
You do too!! Where do you live?
"I just moved out of the mission"
I live there!
"I used to live at 16th and Valencia"
Oh, I live far from there, oh well. It's a mystery
I tip a little smaller because i have a five and a single.
Girly shows up with four drink tickets and four dollars.
"Honey, do you want more tickets?"
OK
"Just get two vodka tonics for the door girls then keep the other two."
I bring the door their drinks, someone else shows up with two vodka tonics at the same time. They'll have to double fist it.
We head to the restroom. I break the code and start a convo in the bathroom with Pony. It's dead silent otherwise. Come on we are all faggots, let's chat it up. Even Pony is breif with his words.
He jets to Double Dutch Disco. Boyf calls, he's out of band practice early. I wish I didn't have the drink because I'd leave now to see him. I try to get him to go to Double Dutch Disco so we can meet up. But he's in for the night.
I hit the dancefloor with Gaga and Jewelry. It's all 80's then it turns into 70's. I dare Gaga to ask the lipsynch dj for some Missy Elliot or something
But none of that remix crap.
A few songs later and Missy's on.
Jewelry dances her ass off. Jayla comes over and dances real low to the ground. He looks like a grown up kid. Big smile, glasses crooked, oversized striped shirt. I wish I could have fun like that.
I dance like my mother.
Like my mother dancing too Missy Elliot.
So does Gaga.
There's a crowd of assistants dancing nearby.
The party is happening. For a song. I dare Manny to get up on the runway.
He dissappears then comes through the curtains all Ethel Merman, Girly follows, and some girls. Girly dances like THAT guy. It's awesome.
Manny jumps down. He's sweating.
We go outside and Eve and Surly say I'm one of their favorites. I'm all
Come on guys, stop it.
I want them to get specific. Why am I one of your favorites? Who else is a favorite? I want context. They've moved on.
No-No is here. She's the HBIC. She's an owner. I tell her I love her. She laughs. I know I look drunk so I grab her hand and look her in the eye
No really. I love you. You're be best.
She believes me.
Her brother hits on Sailor, I think.
I meet Donatella, she is a major colorist with the Salon. I chat her up about nothing for a minute.
I tell Manny that the guy behind him is the only goodlooking boy model. He's all
"Him?!"
Did I stutter
"Him?! I know that guy"
My face gets hot. Totally embars then. Manny sounds dissappointed. But the guy IS goodlooking...ish.
All the smoke is getting to me so I head inside. No one.
NO ONE AT ALL is dancing.
It's tumbleweed empty. Sailor walks by. I chuck my bag in the middle of the floor.
Manny walks up with MaleModel.
Totally Embars. My face gets red. I can feel it. But it's club lighting, no one can see.
I cut at Manny with my eyes. He walks away.
MaleModel introduces himself. We half dance, and talk about the show. I scamper to the restroom. Manny's walking out the front door, I grab his wrist
That was NOT cool
He's all doe eyes and
"What?"
You dragged that guy over to me...
"I did not."
I believe him even though he is lying, we walk to his car, he drives me back to the club I grab my bag. Everyone is splitting up. Some art show, some after party at Surly's. I want to see his new apartment. I want to do something embarrassing and drunkworthy with my coworkers. It's midnight. I think.
I get on the scooter.
Home happens fast.
I shouldn't drive in this state. But I don't realize that till I'm parked on the pavement outside the house.
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