Dancing Like My Mother

I'm on the door.
Cupcake made red velvet cupcakes for Alice's birthday and there about 4 left.
Dad has been feeding me Wild Turkey all night
He's all
"You'll like the flavor of this one"
I act like I never had it
So he thinks he's teaching me.
Everyone is here except Nasty, she's in New York.

A troupe of 3 cute young looking Latino boys show up at the door.
One has really Curly hair in a large afro with big round metal disc earrings.
One of their id-s is not from the U.S. But I'm looking for age
Not country of origin.

Sparkle comes in, fully flirting.

There is this drunk guy. A regular of the bar probably,
older than the crowd. He's wasted but apparently harmless.
It's slow on the door, off and on all night really.
If everyone who came in stayed there'd be enough folks
to overflow the dancefloor. but it's weak tonight.

A hot beast sits at the end of the bar right near me.
S/he has long hair, leggings with a long shirt, purse
necklaces and rings, slouch boots. S/he has the best outfit in here, and maybe it's the attitude.
Drunk sits next to Beast and leans in close. He puts his hand on Beast's leg, and
s/he moves it off. I lean on the bar to get a drink but to get a closer look
at Drunk. I catch his eye, and hold the stare, but his eyes water and roll.
He keeps putting his hand on Beast's leg, I stare holes into his head.
I go over to Beast and I'm all
"Is this guy bothering you"
and Beast is like
"He's just drunk"
Ok.
I hear Beast say
"Why are you here?"
and
"What do you want?"

I get my drink and sit at the door.
Drunk leaves and I'm next to Beast again.
"Sorry to intrude, but you know, safety first"
Beast sort of rolls his/her eyes at me and is all
"Yeah"
S/he leaves to the bathroom.

I sit at the dead door then get Boyf to cover for me so I can go to the bathroom.
Everyone is in the Men's room shining keys and I'm all
"What's wrong with the women's room?"
And they're all
"Someone has been in there for like 15 minutes"
The girl's room has a lock on it, I've never seen so many people in the boy's room before, like 10 maybe, all with keys out, and wild eyes.
I get hyper just being there.

Back at the door Beast leaves and gives me a solid goodbye
but heavy with attitude.
Cupcake runs up to me and he's like
"Someone just totally fucked in the girl's bathroom, it smells like asshole, and Lucy walked in on them, she thought it was just locked because no one came in and out forever, so she got the key from Dad, but when she opened it she caught them. It was that asshole who drew with lipstick all over my shirt last Friday at Hyde street."
I'm all
REALLY?

He goes back to the floor to dance.
Drunk wavers toward me from the dance floor, knocking into bar stools and folks on his way.
He was fucking in the bathroom.
Maybe.
He's all
"I am so fucked up, are you fucked up?"
I'm all
No, not really. Not like you.
"I am so fucked up"
He buys a beer.
He tries to offer me his beer
Dude, I don't want your beer
"Do you want my beer? Take a sip."
I don't want your beer.
On the third offer I'm all smiles and
I don't want your beer. This has just changed from a friendly exchange to an unfriendly one, sit down, drink your beer than go.
My heart does a skip.
He looks at me with eyebrows raised in one long arch, confused and surprised.
"Have my beer"
Sit down, drink, leave.
He's all
"I'll make a deal with you, you drink my beer and I'll leave"
I'm relieved for an easy non-physical way out
Ok.
I down his beer, and point at the door.
He leaves.

I sit.
BamBam comes in, we chat it up about scooters and the weather. He buys a beer.
Drunk comes back in, and I'm all
You have to leave now.
BamBam takes off his glasses, puts them on the bar with his beer, grabs Drunk by the front of the shirt and pushes him at the door.
Drunk goes down so BamBam hauls him out by his shirt.
Boyf and Angel are outside.
BamBam pushes the guy up against a car and almost punches him them stops.
Drunk is all
"I know the manager, I know the manager"
I get BamBam away from him, and then I get in Drunk's face
Get out of here.
He's all
"I know the manager, go get him, go get the manager"
I'm all
GET OUT OF HERE. WE HAD A DEAL, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE
I'm so close and yelling so hard I'm spitting in his face,
his eyebrows are in that weak arch, and his face is pale, lips downturned.
"Go get the manager!"
STAND RIGHT HERE AND DON'T MOVE I WILL GET THE MANAGER. DON'T FUCKING MOVE. OR TALK
I turn to get the manager, I hear Drunk say something to Angel and Boyf. I spin on my heel and I'm up in his face, we'd be making out if I were closer
MAYBE YOU DIDNT FUCKING HEAR ME. I SAID DON'T MOVE, DON'T FUCKING MOVE AND DON'T FUCKING TALK. DID YOU HEAR ME NOW, DID YOU?
He's quiet, on the verge of laughing I think, and if he laughs I'll grab his jaw with my hand and yank him to the ground and kick him in the face and ears and in his guts.
I'm raging, alcohol is running fast through me, it's cold and sharp out, I'm ready to break his face open on the pavement. It's a sudden feeling, but comforting too.
I go inside, but Dad's not at the bar so I go right back out.
Drunk is standing there, and I'm all
You have to go, he's not here and right now this is MY CLUB.
He's all
"No it's not"
I'm all
Right now this is MY club, and you have to leave.

He scuttles to about ten feet away, and he's all
"I'll call the cops"
Angel is like
"Call the cops they won't believe you"
They yell back and forth for a few seconds.
I walk towards drunk with my hands up and out, like, I'm not going to hurt you
and I say real quiet,
Look, if you call the cops they will get here and see how drunk you are, and they'll take you to jail, and we'll tell them you were harrassing us, and our friends.
His face registers understanding, briefly, and he's all whimpery
"But I know the manager"
I walk back to my friends, suddenly cold with no sleeves on.
Embarrassed too.

It's one o'clock, I bring Rchrd Oh!? the money and dance with Pony, just the two of us on the dance floor.

Labels: Bouncing, Dancing, Hold Yr Horses, Rchrd Oh

Posted by Johnny at 10:10 AM | Permalink | Comments

I get home and put on the grey levi’s I’ve been wearing for 14 days, a brown and black striped tank top with an inside out long sleeve white t-shirt worn and holy, with a unicorn profile printed on the inside.
I wait in line then Boyf shows right when I get to the front.
On the list again, +1. Next to my name it says Horseface.
Inside Boyf goes straight to the bar but I seek out Chanel, she’s with two very cute boys.
One blonde, totally a homo and one who looks like that cute host from Trading Spaces,
When they had hosts.
Rchrd Oh?! Is trapped behind the dj booth/bar. I join him and we hug.
He’s the best.
I get a drink.
There are hipsters everywhere. Boys with tight tight jeans and V-necks and pointy boots, or shoes, and messenger bags, and peacoats and leather jackets, with the same sweeping hair or not ironic curly hair, or short on top long in front hair.
Girls are wearing hoop earings with striped shirts or very much from Anthropology sweaters or vintage tees with heels in yellow teal white and black, too short bangs, or too long bangs. Black or blond.
I’ve been cloned, or I’m a clone. Sweepy bangs tight jeans.
I hide in the dj booth and dance with just Rchrd Oh?! Sloshing my frenet and ginger on the floor and the tables.
The second band plays, we go outside to smoke.

Vanderbuilt shows up with her TALLPERSIANFRIEND, he is good looking, and tall with a deep v-neck tshirt worn out with holes in it and a scarf tied around his shaved head like a head band.
It’s an awkward hug.
Bake comes up with some impossibly good looking girl in LA hot girl clothes (leggings, heels, cut up t-shirt with perfect make up counter make up and long brown hair), he squeezes by the door guy with her, and puts her on the list right then and there.
We gossip heartily about the girl, her possible age, and the behaviors of rockstarish folk.

We all go back and stand in the dj booth with Lucy too. Chanel dances with her friends, the blonde guy keeps staring Rchrd Oh?! down.
I’m all
That guy is STARING at you.
I text him
He wants to make it with you.
Lucy says she went on a date with him once. I’m all
But he’s GAY
She’s all
He’s bi or something.
I’m all
Or SOMETHING

Sleaze shows up and we awkward hug.
I can’t tell if he actually likes me.

Moving Units takes the stage and do a little testing of levels, while Rchrd Oh?! tries to dj, He keeps turning up his levels and the sound guy keeps turning them down.
When they start the crowd and my friends go crazy. We jump around.
I’m sloshing my second Frenet around.
Lucy pantomimes blowing a dick. I hold my sides and tears squeeze down my face.
I unzip my fly and stick my thumb through. She mimes sucking it.
I nearly piss my pants.
I hug her and I’m all
I missed you.
Boyf tries to put his head under her shirt. I guess it’s tradition that he puts his head up her dress, but it’s not the same, the shirt is too small.

Pony texts me
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I’m all
AT THE SHOW YOU?
He’s all
BORED AT HOME
I’m all
I’M BORED TOO
He’s all
LET’S HANG OUT LATER

We dance some more, then Sleaze leaves and says
Come to the Arrow later.
I’m so tired from last night and my shirt is so tight.
Boyf missed his friend’s band at the Knock Out.

I hug Rchrd Oh?! and he’s all
I wish I could go home with you guys.
Me too.

At home we wait for just a few minutes before Pony shows up for about ten minutes before I pass out.

Posted by Johnny at 9:58 PM | Permalink | Comments

I put on some balck jeans a balck t vintage black and white braces and a brown and cream polka dot scarf.
Scoot to Rchrd Oh?!’s for our Big Stereo meeting.
It’s just him and Cupcake. We want drinks, but we are broke, Cupcake runs to the corner to get two Sparks for us and a bottle of champagne for him.
Chanel is late or something. She just got back from SD today so she’s hustling from the airport. Sleaze won’t be here.
Rchrd Oh?! Got a hair cut.
Chanel comes in wearing leggings, her Gucci fannypack an AA top and some sort of Lucite necklace. She’s exercise core to the core.
I mix Sparks with champagne and Rchrd Oh?! Takes a sleeping pill, Cupcake disappears upstairs while we chat about future world domination and the genesis of a new club.
My heart beats so fast from the Sparks, and excitement.
I’m all
This Sparks is making me CRAZY.
Cupcake is back and we get set to go.

We walk down some shady blocks. Our destination is Market and 6th, notoriously the worst in the city. Not like you’ll get killed, but you’ll get annoyed and harassed, and you’ll get anal flakes up in your cupcakes on the way to the club.

I chat up the door girl about her astrology earrings, she’s all
“Girl Props”
I’m all
I got mine there too
She’s all
I love that website
I’m all
Oh, I got mine in NY
She smiles and doesn’t even check the list when I say my name but waves us in.
Is the list a joke or is she THAT stoked on Girl Props?

Inside it’s still sort of empty, and drinks are terribly pricey for small little plastic cups of watered down liquors.
I’ve got no money anyway, all of it spent on Sparks.

Chanel starts dancing right away, then she disappears.
The room is long with a stage on one side and a bar on the other, two couches near the door seat a strange grouping of dudebro hipsters and their lap birds.
One particularly beefy guy wears a thickly horizontally striped red and white shirt with shaggy undergrad at Hampshire college hair. I explect some birks on this guy, but he disappoints.
Chanel appears drink in hand, she squeezed it out of some guy.
No guy here will give me a drink for smiles, arm touches, and dazed sexy looks.

My shirt feels tight, I pull at the bottom hem.
Peole start coming in. No one I know, or have ever seen.
It’s a bigger world than I thought.
We dance a bit, while my eyes wander, weighing the quality of fashion against the weakness of hairstyilings, and annoying post electroclash posing.

A band plays.
Nasty shows up with Bell, and Vanderbuilt, and also Dino.
We dance to Richie Panic’s very short songs, everything lasts like 45 seconds. I keep losing my cool and sipping on Cupcakes drinks, a bit too much, he gives me a dirty look.

Chanel rubs her butt on my crotch.
I’m all blushes and awkward hands that flap in the air far from her waist.
I go wait for the bathroom with Bell.
He’s tall and thin and wearing black I think and maybe white, with cover-or-W-magazine-Bangs. He’s pretty, willowy.

Weird Science hits the decks.
Chanel is on stage with four other girls in a dim mak hoody and a glittery eye mask.
The crowd faces the stage and some dudebro hipsters wave their hands up and down like they are at a rap concert.
I jump around.
Sparrow shows up.
She’s with one of the earlier dj’s
She dances with me in a black t shirt and black tight skirt and black heels, with sort of rockabilly eye make up and black sweepy bangs, a studded belt.
Maybe the classiest B here.
We dance, she’s my favorite so far tonight, just fun and rocking out, without posing.
I stop scanning the room and start dancing, like forreal.
It’s so hot that I consider taking off my shirt and keeping the suspenders.
I take off the scarf, and drink from Sparrows tall can of warm PBR.

In introduce Sparrow to Bell, he takes her hand then turns around and walks away, like he’s too cool, we both laugh shrug and dance it off.
There’s some chick here wearing a longish long sleeve white Henley buttoned hippy shirt and a headband around her blond hair. She dances just like Pony.
I want to go up to her and say
You dance like my friend Pony, and you look like him, and you dress like him, do you know him?
But she’s on the stage and I’m on my way out.

It’s a cold night and I back track around the nasty part of town, get on my scooter and drive home.

Posted by Johnny at 9:57 PM | Permalink | Comments