Dancing Like My Mother

1
I am not tryng mostly
to make a fool of myself
after the energy drink
and the shot of super sweet liquor, close to cough syrup
and the wig on my head the heels on my shoes,
the stockings, false lashes and makeup generally.
I leave my hand on your bicep too long,
I grab you around the waist six times and hug you close, laughing,
but also feeling your bulk on my hip and
on my ribs.
I put my hand on your head and ruffle your hair,
then comb it with my fingers softly
while reaching for your cold clear drink with my other hand
pulling the straw into my mouth with my tongue.

2
i meant to wear the cloth shoes
that look like clown shoes, the toes
rounded pointed and turned up
the right sole pulling away from the right uppers.
but in my rush i've put on the boots
i bought with birthday money.
These boots will not go well with the black and gold see through
and sequined jumpsuit which i'll wear to the club
just a jock strap holding me in
hair blow dryed, face patted to an even tone with foundation
eyes sunk in dark powdery circles of make up.

3
the smell of poppers
and the tension of dehydration behind my eyes
dump me cruelly into sleep.

Posted by Johnny at 8:55 PM | Permalink | Comments

you gain 7 pounds in 2 weeks.
you have taken to drinking water with
lemon and eating donuts and chocolate
past midnight.
your eyes are dry.
you cried earlier when he left.
you held him tight
your arms reaching all the way around him
you pressed one hand on the back of his
head, his hair fine and soft.
you said
"hey, i love you, and you will be back"
you did not cry then but after
on the street, as you walked to the gym
and three drunk people in a row asked you for a cigarette
or a light.

Posted by Johnny at 2:10 AM | Permalink | Comments