Dancing Like My Mother

I get to the bar at 10pm exactly and Cupcake has already put out the cupcakes, they turned out nice, half chocolate cupcake, top half cheesecake with a balled mango piece on top so they look like fried eggs. Bartender asks me if I'm circumsized and if I'm a top or a bottom, both of which are apparently "jokes". He won't give me the money until we have sex, I'm like "We WILL NOT have sex, until you give me the money." I ask him how he's doing, "Horny, now that you are here."
There's new guidlines, everyone must be ID-D. Now I'm a bouncer too.
Starts slow. Everyone sits near the door with me. Brandicorn and Pony are chatting it up. BB talks to me, alot, says he thinks we met three years ago, says he drinks to feel sexy, comments on the 80's dance murder horror film we're watching tonight. Cupcake comes by and restocks the cupcakes.
Rchrd Oh plays as per usual despite the low attendance.
The clock reads 11pm, which means 10:45, I'm one frenet, and one jameson rocks in.
Rosie shows up, all stylee. She has an interview at the new Juicy Cotoure in a week. JUICY COTOURE. I said she should be all, "hey bitch those sweats look so good on you, I want to eat your pussy, if my boy friend would let me" the joke goes on for a while.
Vanderbuilt, Lucy and Nasy are here.
Cupcake comes around with the camera.
BB leaves to go to Hole in the Wall, I get a special kiss goodbye after we chat about my twin for just a moment.
Alice and Scooter show up. Alice is all blond blond blond. Way blonder than before. It's cute.
The girls come, but Rock got egged on the way over so she went home and won't be coming out. I chat with Bangs about my bandanas and painting at the Seventh Heart. She tells me about her job.
It's slow slow slow tonight,
some really drunk dude comes in and questions me about the cover "Porque?" I'm all, "for the dj, para el DJ" he gets mad and steals a cupcake on his way out, Cupcake follows him out and yells at him
Pony eats his 4th cupcake then bounces.
Struthers shows up, and thank god bc that bitch can and will dance, the crowd moves back from the door to the floor, and I'm by myself again, and something weird is on the tv, is it when tv attacks? or something....
Rchrd Oh mixes it up and plays some classics that aren't commong to HYH but classics anyway.
I fill a basket of popcorn for Brandicorn and we chat about coming out of the closet and bing gay in San Francisco and new relationships, and wanting to just make out even though it might be dirty. He's going on tour with Finest Dearest and I'm the tiniest bit jel. they got a van so tour will be nicer than when I went with them to L.A.
Jameson rocks.
Jameson rocks,
I try to bounce a crack head but I'm too nice so Bartender's friend has to come get her, I'm all "why didnt she listne to me?" he's all, "That was the fourth time I tried, it wasn't your fault."
Now the clock says 1am, which means 12:45 but Rchrd Oh doesnt seem to mind. Alice and I talk about how much we like each other on the edge of the floor, I'm checking myself out in the mirrors and scanning the floor for Boyf. He's missing, maybe he's making out in the bathroom. Phyllis shows up and the party really starts.
There's Boyf dancing really low on the ground, actually on the ground. How many beers did he have?
There's cupcake with the camera, Lucy and I make dirty poses on the prize game machine. Your lovely hosts, Bartender gets an eyeful.
Back on the floor Boyf is giving Scooter's beer bottle total head. TOTAL HEAD, later they dirty dance some more, and I'm all "Alice what's up with our boyfriends tonight? Mine's gay but what about yours?"
No one tries to kiss me in the bathroom.
Nasty says that when I was at H+M today all her gay male friends were like "who's that hot guy?" I am like "Do you mean Pony?" and she's all "No, You."
I'm hot.
It's totally the haircut. All the boys like the haircut.
I can't wait to go back for my gament bag, I'll wear hotpants and a half shirt.
Hot bitches.
i dance my ass off with Rosie and Struthers, and check myself out in the mirrors,
when did i start dancing like a gay man? or a gay man who thinks he's a hot woman?
it doesn't make sense.
We're all dancing now, even Rchrd Oh
Jameson Rocks but I don't know where I put it down. Phyllis helps out with his whiskey rocks, which is NOT Jameson rocks.
We are all danciing now. ALL of us.
Even Rchrd Oh.
Dancing like our mothers.
At least I am.
When it's over It's over, I get my cash and hustle into a cab, and forget to tell Boyf. Too tired. At home Desperate Housewives is on.
I set the alarm. I take a sleeping pill.
I drink as much water as possible and choke down some fritos. FRITOS people.


Nasty and your lovely Host









all photos by Alice.

Posted by Johnny on Wednesday, October 11, 2006 at 3:14 PM | Permalink